• I am proud

Posted: **Wed Dec 25, 2019 3:37 pm**

I am so proud of my daughter. She worked with an unmarried man who has 5 children. He went shopping and bought all of the Christmas gifts. His other half allowed one of the daughters to use his car for an errand. She did not lock the door and when she got home, he looked in the back and all of the gifts were gone. He was so upset at work and did not know what to do.
I am so amazed and proud of my daughter. She is young and just out of college. She went to the bank and took out $300.00 and gave it to her co-worker so that he could buy gifts for his children.
Should I reimburse my daughter for her kindness or just allow her to feel the good feelings of doing some good?
I want to hear your opinions. There is no right or wrong answer.

Posted: **Wed Dec 25, 2019 3:50 pm**

I don’t have the answer either but you have a wonderful daughter.

Posted: **Wed Dec 25, 2019 4:01 pm**

Maybe agree to reimburse her a part of the $300, so she can still feel like she did it without any hope of reimbursement. And provide additional reimbursement by helping her out financially in other ways, because you are so proud of what she did.

But I wonder what plans the daughter who didn't lock the car up has to make amends for her indiscretion?

Posted: **Wed Dec 25, 2019 4:02 pm**

It doesn't make sense to me, to reimburse your daughter. It was a great impulse and I can only assume she did not spend her essential rent or grocery money. Other things we can do without, and it's a choice she made. Let her enjoy it.

Posted: **Wed Dec 25, 2019 4:07 pm**

pondgardner wrote: ↑Wed Dec 25, 2019 4:01 pm But I wonder what plans the daughter who didn't lock the car up has to make amends for her indiscretion?

I would not want to be in her shoes this Christmas Day.

Posted: **Wed Dec 25, 2019 4:16 pm**

It is your choice there is no wrong decision.
She made the choice without expecting anything back or in return.
For you to help her just substantiates good deeds bring forth good deeds.
It is like if I let someone into heavy traffic and later on someone lets me in heavy traffic.
The main thing is she didn't expect anything in return and or be paid back from someone else.

Posted: **Wed Dec 25, 2019 4:38 pm**

If there's a concern that she doesn't know how to manage her money yet, and might be short for the January heat bill for example!

then, if it was my daughter, I would set aside some money to help her out when that happens. And she is learning the consequences of her actions that way, as well, that we can't always fulfill every good impulse that we have, but also have to stay on budget...
IMO the rewards of generous good actions are not monetary, ever. Those rewards are priceless and personal.

So it makes no sense to reward her generosity with cash.

But that's how I see the world.

Posted: **Wed Dec 25, 2019 5:48 pm**

I would not reimburse her. It's her money. She's old enough to have a job and manage her own money. She made a choice to be generous. Let her have this. Don't interfere. To reimburse her would be treating her as if she's a child.

Posted: **Wed Dec 25, 2019 8:11 pm**

When you told her you were so proud of her for helping out, I think you gave her a reward no money can buy.

Posted: **Wed Dec 25, 2019 9:50 pm**

So, when she walked in, again I told her how very happy and proud I was of what she did and that she was growing up and learning finally what I have been trying for so long to teach her. She beamed. I gave her nothing for her good deed other than a lot of praise. This was a HUGE step for her as she used to get mad at me for helping out others. I AM PROUD.

Posted: **Wed Dec 25, 2019 10:17 pm**

Good for Momma, you raised her right.

bravo gig.gif

Posted: **Thu Dec 26, 2019 4:12 pm**

Yes, congratulations on how you raised her.

Posted: **Fri Dec 27, 2019 12:38 pm**

MissS wrote: ↑Wed Dec 25, 2019 3:37 pm I am so proud of my daughter. She worked with an unmarried man who has 5 children. He went shopping and bought all of the Christmas gifts. His other half allowed one of the daughters to use his car for an errand. She did not lock the door and when she got home, he looked in the back and all of the gifts were gone. He was so upset at work and did not know what to do.
I am so amazed and proud of my daughter. She is young and just out of college. She went to the bank and took out $300.00 and gave it to her co-worker so that he could buy gifts for his children.
Should I reimburse my daughter for her kindness or just allow her to feel the good feelings of doing some good?
I want to hear your opinions. There is no right or wrong answer.

It is far better to give than to receive. So, don't reimburse, now. Wouldn't you like your daughter to be like that throughout her life? She made this sacrifice on her own. One step on a long journey that is hers alone. Down the road, maybe you can somehow reimburse her in a different way.

Posted: **Fri Dec 27, 2019 1:16 pm**

I am not sure how I missed this! Your daughter's kindness warms my heart! I agree with [mention]Tormato[/mention]

Posted: **Sat Dec 28, 2019 9:04 am**

And since you said there was no right or wrong answer...

As a mother, it's time for you to let go. Not entirely, because you know you will not be able to completely let go for all of your days. Tell your daughter that her act of selflessness has taught you that you now realize she is a grownup (maybe something you've been denying?). Of course, just out of college, she's likely just learning about the real world. And mom can continue to help, there.

Posted: **Sat Dec 28, 2019 9:12 am**

Well Captain, you give good advise. She got a good dose from me that she is grown up about 3 months ago when she moved out and had to take over her auto and health insurance. I told her that she had grown her wings so use them.

Posted: **Sat Dec 28, 2019 8:02 pm**

No money, but some kind of gift to let her know how much you love her. Sometimes, a kind action should just stand on it's own. Repayment sometimes seems to dilute it. If she needs the money in the future, I bet she knows you have her back.

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